So far so good

Well Jillian held up really nicely today. I think we were a bit over kill when it came to checking her fever. But I think we will probably be that way for a long time. She stayed at about 97.5 all day but tonight when we checked her she was pushing 98.6 this temp scares us but its pretty normal. I packed us both up just in case we have to leave tonight. Better to be prepared then not to be. Even if she does amazing all week we will be back to Stanford on Friday for regular clinic for chemo. Depending on her numbers and temp we may or may not be admitted. I'm hoping she will do so well that we will be back here Friday night! Keep those prayers going.

Christmas today was great. William has definitely been more on the difficult side since we have been back and this is probably due to the fact that we basically abandoned him in the middle of the night. We think he is just pissed at us. On December 4th I put him to sleep and then didn't return home for three weeks. I would be pretty mad too if that happened to me. So I sat him down today and had a little talk with him just apologizing for everything and trying to explain to him that his sister is sick. I'm not sure how much he understood of what I told him but afterwards his behavior was not as bad. We just need to get back into our regular schedule and I hope his behavior will improve.

The kids got so much great stuff for Christmas. They were very spoiled by all their family. William had a fun time just unwrapping all the presents (even other people's) and not even paying much attention to what the actual gift was. I think he just really enjoyed the tearing sounds. Jillian loved everything and had a lot of fun visiting with her cousin and her family. She hasn't seen everyone in so long so she just took it easy and hung out. She is still having a hard time walking and gets tired quickly. She has a difficult time going up the three stairs from my parents family room to their living room, which makes me think a move for us is probably necessary now because of the fact that we live in a three story town home. She cannot walk up our stairs now and as treatment continues I'm sure she will just get weaker and weaker.

We are still having a hard time getting her to take some of her meds. We basically had a screaming match today because she refused to drink her apple juice with her medicine in it. We are limited to what we can do with that medicine (the most important medicine by the way) we can't crush it so we can do what we do for her other medicine. She can't bite into it, it must be dissolved some how. So I dissolve it in apple juice but she can still taste the medicine so she hates it. It's just a battle that we have every night. The bad thing is that her medicine has to be taken at a certain time everyday and if we fight for an hour for her to take it she messes up the time schedule. It's exhausting!

The great thing about today is that Jillian was happy. I'm having a hard time adjusting back to reality and I hope my life goes back to normal soon. In a way it was a lot easy at the hospital. I didn't have to worry about anything but taking care of Jillian. Now that I'm home it's back to taking care of the house, William, the cat, all my old responsibilities PLUS the Ton of new ones that have bestowed upon me because of leukemia. It's so stressful to think that I am now the one who has to be the pharmacist and the doctors. I have to clean her PICC line every day by flushing it out and if I mess up anything it's right on back to the hospital we go. And I have to give her all her meds, what if I mess up and overdose her or something. It's scary to think about all the things that could go wrong, I need to just focus on getting the job done and making sure its right. It can feel like so much pressure, I know though within time it will get easier. Lets hope.

I leave you with some pictures from Christmas today. I hope everyone had a great one!!